The Deviant Psychic

Beautiful Quote: Rumi

2009-12-01T16:41:00.000-08:00

Those who don't feel this Love
pulling them like a river,
those who don't drink dawn
like a cup of spring water
or take in sunset like supper,
those who don't want to change,
let them sleep.
This Love is beyond the study of theology,
that old trickery and hypocrisy.
If you want to improve your mind that way,
sleep on.
I've given up on my brain.
I've torn the cloth to shreds
and thrown it away.
If you're not completely naked,
wrap your beautiful robe of words
around you,
and sleep.
- Rumi

My Weekend Christian Experience

2009-11-23T12:52:00.001-08:00

This weekend I had the joy and opportunity to join my sister at her church. It is not a place I normally would have gone, but it really gave me perspective and reconnected me to an early period of my own search for faith and God. It was an evangelical experience and it started out with great music (and even though I do not necessarily worship in that faith, I love me some old gospel music), then they proceeded into the sermon for the day.

What it unlocked for me what how we connect to our faith. I remember a time when my search for God was driven by my fear of what would happen if I did not have God's love. When I am doing things I know that are against the plan of this high being, how can I ever find salvation? For me, it was coming into the realization that the truth that is given out in church is not necessarily the word of God... but the word of a man/woman with their own agenda. This is why you see many faiths becoming diluted with politics vs. actually preaching anything of value. Religion has done more to make us fear God than love God... which in turn has made it difficult for us to love ourselves. If God cannot love a sinner, and if I am a sinner, then where does the love come in?

When we worship through a vibration of love, we move into a place of alignment with our higher nature. We understand that it is our imperfections that make us imperfectly unique. Our flaws connect us to humanity, but in the same breath we are all God. When we move into a place of unconditional love for self and other, we then move into alignment with a higher energy. We move into a place of acceptance, not only of others but of self.

It really was a great experience and I am thankful that she allowed me into her world. Do not be afraid to step into those places, we learn so much by sharing, and you do not have to agree with everything that happens in those places, but if we are unwilling to even walk through the door, how will we ever move forward.

Much love!

Mike

xoxo

Worshiping idols and holding ourselves away from our own truth

2009-11-20T18:28:00.000-08:00

Why is it that many of us choose suffering over living? Why do we feel the prize will be better if we have to fight life along the way to get there? During a recent Course In Miracles Study Group at the Celebration Center we discussed idols. It was an interesting topic and went in a direction that I did not expect. Many of us go into religion in an effort to find some truth, to be like that figure that is at the head of our religion. We begin to worship them as separate than us, as if that state of being is not attainable for us as followers of the faith. I don't mean to pick on the Christians, but they lend themselves to this more than many other religions. We have an individual that is Christ, and we worship the path that was walked by him, the acts he has performed, we take in his body and blood all the time keeping him as separate from us. In reality Jesus did not want us to worship him, but to know that we are the same as him. Many Buddhists feel they will never attain Buddha Nature in this lifetime. Many of us worship Gods and Goddesses never realizing that they are just reflections of our true divine nature. In turn, we have created a world where we hold each other at arms length. We are all equals in this life, many of us are better at certain skills than the next, but that is what makes us unique in our oneness.

Remember that instead of holding yourself away from the figurehead, see yourself as their equal. We all have the power to heal ourselves and others, we all have the power to spread hope to those that are feeling hopeless, we all have the power to Create- We are not separate from God, We are God.

You are all loved, you are all beautiful.

Mike

xoxo

News from the homefront

2009-11-19T12:10:00.000-08:00

The birds are finally chirping, and life seems to be moving back to normal for most people. My heart is with all that had to suffer through the storms here recently. Life here in SC is a constant adjustment and I am really getting into a place where I can finally move into a place of being that I am creating vs. letting the world and my surrounding dictate my life to me.

In the next couple of days I am going to really rededicate myself to posting videos, interviews, book reviews, and more discussion on the 2012 subject.

I am teaching yoga at a wonderful place called the Celebration Center. We are riding a common theme that seems to be popping up in a lot of places... community. We are a community of healers, teachers, educators, intuitives, and are dedicating ourselves to being of service to those who seek out our assistance. It really is a beautiful thing to see, and even better to be a part of. I will give you updates on my experiences here, and will offer advice on creating community where you are.

Much love to all of you,

Mike

xoxo

Technology... the good, the bad, the what do we do when its all gone.

2009-11-04T14:19:00.000-08:00

(This is a payphone, in case you've forgotten what they look like)

We live in a time where at the blink of an eye we can communicate with everyone we've ever met. With the click of one button, the world can know where I am, what I am doing, and what all of my likes and dislikes are. The big question is: how much of ourselves are we going to give away to the technological world. With every application in the world available at a tap, we get further away from connecting to one another. I can remember a time where people actually walked up to one another and said "Hi, my name is....", now the first question is: "Do you have Facebook, myspace or twitter?"

We have become so reliant on these little gadgets and devices. I noticed a funny icon on my phone the other day. It asked me if it was OK that Google collected information on my searches, location, etc so that it could provide better quality as far as searches. Google (and many cell phone providers) have been known to collect and build profiles on users--and more along the Big Brother lines than helping me find the best vegan pizza joint in town. We really have to be careful where we give away our information, we have to use our intuition to decide if it is necessary to venture down these techno highways. They are great for the service they provide... but, does anyone remember how to use a map or even know what an Atlas is? GPS has stolen away the necessity to learn how to read basic maps, we can even have our books read to us by our IPODs, there are programs that slow brainwaves down for meditation, there are neat applications that just suck us right into a world of dependence.

Last night it seems that TMOBILE also crashed. I can still remember how angry I was getting that I could not check my email, send a text, or make a call. I also then realized how attached I was to this phone. It was a wake call... pun intended.

What do we do if all this technology disappears tomorrow? Do you know the actual phone number of the 3 top people you call the most? With a click of a button, a call is made. If I had to walk up to a payphone, I am sure that my speed dial or top 5 will not be programmed in (pay phone? What in the world is that?).

Take time each day to put away the techno-toys. Detach completely. Go a day without using them, detach from email. Send a letter (pen and paper) to a friend. Go a day without texting. Write down all the important numbers in your phone. Ask yourself "If there were no way of using electronic means of communication, what would I do?" This is an extremely valid question, and its another insight that popped up during the TMOBILE outage. I've been fortunate to have been introduced to a telepathy technique which is very effective. We have to look outside of ourselves and the techno boxes we've put ourselves into.

Much love to you all,

Mike Brazell

xoxo

My personal transformation: Preparing for the soul for the shift

2009-10-30T16:57:00.000-07:00

Recently I had a transformative experience. There is a lot happening in this world around us, and as we move forward we need to prepare ourselves for the coming events. There is a lot of talk about 2012, and other prophesies and there are just as many sources and explanations to what will and will not happen. I am going to do a series of blogs and vlogs in the coming weeks to share my perspective and some of the more popular perspectives that are making the circles today.

Regardless of what you think will or won't happen, preparedness is one of the key elements that will help to reduce fear. Having hurricane survival kits, knowing routes out of town, etc will give you some peace of mind.

I am going to share pieces of my own personal journey and what I am being called to do prepare. I am not saying that this is what YOU should do, but now is the time to listen to that inner voice, heed warnings, and do things that will help your forward progress.

1) I am entering a fasting period and cleansing diet. I am eliminating all sugar (natural and un-natural), processed foods, caffeine, wheat gluten from my diet. There are so many chemicals in the foods we eat. What if all of a sudden those things were taken away from us? Our bodies have become adjusted to these chemicals and having them taken away suddenly can cause the body to go into various levels of shock. In a time of deep stress or outer chaos, we need to have clear minds.

2) I am reading books that are throwing themselves at me or that I haven't picked up in a long time. I'm finding new and relevant information that has been very helpful in my personal transformation. One book in particular is Spiritual Growth by Sanya Ronan

Here are some of the titles that I am reading:

Course in Miracles

Spiritual Growth

2012 Awakening

The Revelations of St. John

3) I am journaling and writing down key events along this new path. Events that catch my attention, dreams that I have, and things in these books that stick out among others.

4) I am detaching from the emotional and the physical. I am learning to let go of emotions and physical things that are no longer necessary in progress.

5) I am learning to love unconditionally- All things, beings, people, and emotions. I am sending out cosmic hugs to the oneness. You have to learn to love that which you hold apart from you to transition it from something negative to something positive. Its not about forgetting or about letting it go, its more about transitioning energy. Often people get those ugly big, black balloons on their 40th birthdays... lets take those and make pretty doggie balloon animals.

6) I am doing more personal yoga, running, and moving towards a deeper connection to the physical as well as the etheric.

7) I am working in my intuitive energy a LOT more, opening myself up to new energies, experiences and shedding away connections and energies that are no longer necessary in my experience.

8) Conducting daily self healing practice using energetic healing. Healing the mind and spirit through daily mediation.

This is an exciting time for all light workers, and for humanity as a whole. We are quickly moving into a new and exciting transition. Preparing yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Love yourself, love others.... Learn to let go of what is no longer necessary in your life. Live.

You are all loved and beautiful souls.

More to follow.

Mike-

xoxo

Define Yourself

2009-10-26T10:18:00.000-07:00

If someone asked you this moment to define yourself what would you say? The problem is that we do not often get asked this question because most people define us by our actions, words, and how we treat others. We also define who we are by the burdens we carry, and how we treat the person in the mirror.

Now is the time to really decide who you want to be. I've personally gone through a complete cleansing phase. My life has shed away all the things that were defining me, and I am now in a place where I can sculpt the me that I want to share with the world.. the true me. When we are given an opportunity to change and grow, many of us run instead of hurling ourselves into the opportunity and moment. Why?

Do not fear change, it brings new opportunity and new growth. It also brings in new perspectives. If you are someone that has a deep fear of change start small. Change coffee brands, change style of clothing, change the way you make your pizza... then move onto changing the larger aspects of your life.

Make lists of pros and cons. Some of us need to see the tangible outcome of change. Then you are able to move into the new moment or experience with a little more ease since you will can see the possibilities in front of you.

Grow, change, and challenge this great world around us.

Namaste,

Mike

The Beauty of Life: is that we have it to live

2009-10-26T10:12:00.000-07:00

How often to we take time to offer gratitude for this life we have. Yes, I know that sometimes it can be difficult...

Here is a quick exercise:

Take a deep breath in... Now exhale...

See you are still alive, so no matter how hard it is at this moment in time, no matter how tough the road ahead seems, you still have a place in this big puzzle.. without you, we would be missing a critical piece.

Move into each moment, and grow. We have a lot of work to do in the coming months, because the world is changing quickly. Mother Earth is not pleased, and its way past time to be sent to the corner for a time out... We have done all we can to not only destroy this great place we ALL call home, but we've not done a great job in helping to build and establish connections with those around us. What's the name of the last person that helped you at the grocery store? The last waiter that waited on you? Or even the name of the person that lives next door? We've built these walls that hold us apart from this thing called "oneness".

The further away we get from that sense of complete belonging to the eternal thread that binds us all, the more alone we feel in this world.. and too many of us think we have to do this alone. You do not, unless you choose to... and yes, we can choose not to connect. Whatever your choices in this life.. Live them, and love them.. share where you can, and help someone else smile...

I am going to be getting very active on this blog in the next few weeks, as I've learned through a very transformative weekend that NOW is the time to define ourselves. Now is the time to say this is who I am!

Love you all,

Mike

Creating the new

2009-10-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

This is my first blog post from the wonderful world of SC. Change and transformation is the name of the game, and we really do not get a choice if we get to play or not. Change is all around us, and often times we find ourselves right in the middle of it. I will admit that change can also stir up all those fear emotions. We are all human, and its what we do in the presence of those emotions that will determine the outcome of our experiences. We need to move into a place of acceptance of self, a place where we determine the road in front of us, and we use those emotions to move forward and to overcome, rather than to destroy us or any opportunity that comes our way.

I am going to post a vlog sometime in the next couple of days, just wanted to drop a quick blog to let everyone know where I am, and what I am doing. I promise that the blogs will come more frequently.

Thank you all for your support, and for the beauty each of you adds to this world.

Mike

xoxo

Soma Pi, Poetry, and Just Amazingness

2009-10-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

I can really say this has been an amazing weekend. It was filled with healing, love, and sharing. First I has the opportunity to become certified in Soma Pi Healing with my spiritual mother Susan Zummo. This healing modality is like nothing I've ever experienced before. Its fast, effective and strong. Contact me if you would like a treatment. We were able to send healing to others, we got treatments ourselves, and it really just was a great experience in growing and love. When you are in a place of healing, you are able to not only connect with others on a different level, but you come more into alignment with your own path in this life.

As I was leaving Sunday, I got a phone call that I would be opening at the Hershee Bar for Athens Boys Choir (amazing spoken word poet). I got to hang out with and meet Andrea Gibson, and now open for Athens Boys Choir-- Ahh, a Gay Boy Poet's Dream Come trueeeee...... I still feel like I am dreaming.

Here is a my opening for ABC:

It really was an amazing weekend, filled with love, healing and just an all round gooooood time.

You are all loved, adored, and may you have a blessed week!

Mike
xoxo

Poem...

2009-09-28T13:31:00.000-07:00

I use to think of death as a fearful passing from this world into a blank screen of forever fuzzy snow.. like the kind you see on TV when the final broadcast of the night, casts its farewells, dying into the night, leaving behind only glimmers of light..
a life determined by what is wrong or right.. in the moments before God dies who tells us what is wrong, or right?
They said she had a year to live, and in four months the cancer consumed her body...
God died the day I saw her slipping away from us and into the place between here and there.. but where the fuck is there, when we are all stuck here watching the suffering of a life that deserved more than this...
Nurses handing us papers explaining the death process as simple as 10 steps from this side of life to that eternal night..
where Goddesses morn the passing of Gods reborn anew, but we are angry they are taking you from us..
you.. a life lived wonderful by the actions of love you gave everyday..
this action of love, lessons not learned by those to eager to get through your death to the Will.. your will stronger than they expected, and you held on.
You are gone now...
but I've learned that death is not about dying, it's about living..
You loved me for who I am, and could see through my soul into the darkest parts.. pushed those aside.. and said I love you.
Your life an action of love re birthed here in me..

Andrea Gibson 360 aka the night I had a permasmile that wouldnt end

2009-09-27T09:45:00.000-07:00

It is not often that you get to be as close as I was to someone that has completely changed my life. Andrea Gibson is an amazing poet and an amazing person. Andrea is one of the few people that I have met that really lets her soul step into her body and it lets that energy fill the hearts and ears of those in her presence. She is small in stature, but her energy makes her bigger than life. I remember hearing "Ashes", a poem about a gay soldier that was burned to death, for the first time-- my life changed. She inspires creativity, and speaks a truth that will cut through the reality of our little bubbles and she helps us to see what is really there.

I teared up the moment I saw her, and when I got that first hug of the evening from one of my personal heros- God truly was pulling at the corners of my cheeks ( a great line from her poem photograph). We got to help man her merch table, and I got an autograph in my book. She read my favorite poems, and at times I felt like she was speaking directly to my soul.

I think the biggest lesson in this encounter is learning to speak from the soul. How often do we have chances and opportunities to do so, but let those moments pass us by?

Here are a few of her poems, and I hope you will find as much enjoyment in hearing her words as I have.

Much love,

Mike-

Awakening

2009-09-26T10:36:00.000-07:00

In this time of forward progress we are all awakening. There are many levels to this process. Many of us are coming into alignment with our core being, our soul. This will bring many body changes as well as spiritual changes for all of us. Ideas we once held sacred may shift, change, or even fall away. When we come into center with oneness we realize that many of the things we hold so close only hold us apart from those that are around us. When we go to the core of all that is, we see that it is all really the same. Letting go, and moving into alignment with the soul can challenge us on many levels as we have to deal with all that karmic baggage we carry with us, but open the bags and unpack. The road is easier to travel when you are not so loaded down.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming...

2009-09-25T11:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm stepping off my ranting about the state of activism soapbox for a bit, and getting back to the good stuff...

Soul Development and Spritual Progress.

I have rediscovered journaling. It really is a great way to connect to the soul, have conversations with ourselves (not in a crazy kind of way), and allows us to keep track of our day. I use mine to guage my spiritual progress, log my personal readings, and just keep track of my emotions and feelings. It allows us to rediscover our journey, and to keep track of those life lessons. The more we learn about oursevles, the less likely we are to have to repeat the lessons of our past.

Find a book that is unique to you-- and begin your journy.

I'll give some specific exercises for journaling, but the most important part is just getting started... and do not limit yourself... just start writing.. ask your soul questions... it will answer.

Have a great weekend!!!

Mike

Keeping the world at arm's length- Wake UP!

2009-09-20T09:43:00.000-07:00

When are we going to stop holding our hands out in a defensive posture, and turn our hands outwards to welcome all people to the table to create change. I'm just really getting fed up with the way activism seems to work these days. We have so many national groups that seem to want to throw as many fancy galas and cater to the stars as possible. We have local groups that wish they were the national groups so they forget about the struggle in their own backyards because the ego of the group has gotten to be the size of Mt. Fuji.

We throw parties and have events- and really its fun to come together and share with like minded people... because that's easy. I don't have to be anyone but myself and if I get on bull horn and scream "Let's create change!!!" I'll have many happy voices applauding my statement. Not so easy when we have to get in front of a group of what we might consider non-like minded people and to do the same thing--but it is so much more powerful when we do. Otherwise it is like going to a vegetarian festival and telling people not to eat animals.

We need to get our issues and our faces in front of people who do not know us. We need to hold events that are open to ALL, and we need to stop saying that just because you do not see eye to eye with me- there is no room at the table for YOU. How the hell are we supposed to change if we have such a narrow view of the world around us. And yes, I too am an angry activist- I'm angry at the way WE do things, and continue to do things. We sell tickets for an equality ride only in places where we know people will buy the tickets, yet think of the impact it will have to sell them at places that are not exclusively gay-- Oh and don't forget its an EQUALITY march, and an "We only want you to come along if you are gay and see only what we ask you to see March".

Are we too afraid to be ourselves? Are we too afraid to really ask for change? Are we too afraid to step out that rainbow colored bubble for one fucking moment to say- I am not afraid anymore.

When are you REALLY going to be part of change? When are you going to BE the active part of activism?

If you are afraid, that's okay too. Hang around all the people that will only agree with you, that will always see you as the person they know you to be-- And when you are ready to come out of the secondary closet you've created... The rest of will be there to welcome you.

Much love and peace to you all....

Sorry for the rant, just am tired of all the crap I see in this world... and sometimes.. ya have to vent.

Mike

Poem/Commentary: Change- Ode to the Angry Activist

2009-09-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

There is an old/new form of activism that seems to be emerging. Angry activism. Now, do not get me wrong. There is a time and a place to be angry, there is a time and a place to demand change, but we cannot live in that energy all the time. We can not combat hate with hate less we become like the people we are trying to change.

Brute force will avail against brute force only when it is proved that darkness can dispel darkness.
- Mahatma Gandhi

You can not hate someone into loving you. It just does not happen. Here is a poem that I hope conveys this message... enjoy

Change:

Change does not come because your sign is bigger than theirs.

Change does not come because you can scream louder than them

Change does not come...
Because you cannot see around your own anger and hate to
see your truth burning crosses in the valley of your soul,
Screaming mantras of " We demand change because we are queer!!!"
But guess what--Change starts here

Wet your soul scream for change with actions of love
Instead of holding signs
hold mirrors so that people can see where change begins.

Do not let ignorance burn down the bridges of change...
because how are people suppose to get across if there are no bridges?!?!

Bashing ourselves with anger and hate
reflecting a humanity that continues to suffer
under the weight of our own unwillingness to say
I LOVE YOU first.

We want equality, but life isn't algebra
a letter plus a letter plus a letter plus a letter only equals separation
and the only number we need is ONEness..

Humanity pointing fingers at one another for all the fucked up things in this world
never seeing the four fingers pointed back at our hearts screaming-OPEN!!

Its the Christian woman that pulled me off my cross long enough for me to feel
God's greatness in the grass under my feet

Its the straight man that holds his sign at a rainbow rally and never once sees
the divided colors of our flag, but sees just a rainbow...
When is the last time we just saw a rainbow?!?!

Its screaming at a man who screams lyrics of hate drowning out the music of change
and our voices are too tired from screaming to start singing songs of love.
If we cant see hope in even the darkest soul.. then why open our fucking eyes?!?

Be the dove.. flap your wings and sing peace
Open your heart and let it scream love
hold your mirrors high so that I can see
that If I want change...
I have to start with ME.

Remember, change starts with us. If we want the world to see us as equal, we have see ourselves as equal members of this world.

Much love to you all...

Mike

Angel Card Draw: Relaxation

2009-09-06T10:23:00.001-07:00

What a great card to draw and end the weekend on. How many of us really "relax"? I know I for one do not relax enough. I am so busy running around doing things, working out, working, writing, and what I might not call "work" really becomes work. One of the best ways to come out of this place of constant struggle is to do something that is completely out of your norm. An easy example is to read a book that you may never have picked up in the first place. Read something that has NOTHING to do with work, watch a movie that makes you laugh, or just sit in silence. We spend so much time working and it really does a number on our bodies, minds, and spirits. Do not be afraid to take a break, and often you enter the work again refreshed with new perspective.

Much love and relaxation to you all.... goes well with the meditation post.

xoxo

Mike

Changes all around us

2009-09-06T10:20:00.000-07:00

This is a great time of change. We are all in a place of new and forward progress. It is important for all of us to stay centered in this place of transition. We often let life dictate to us how we should and will respond to changes that we anticipate and those that sneak up on us. Learning to meditate and getting on a meditation schedule will help you come back to center no matter what challenge you are faced with. I am going to post a meditation how to guide on here in the next few days... and take you on a mini-guided meditation.

I hope you all are enjoying the summer and living it up!!!

xoxo

Mike

Poem: Dear God

2009-08-26T11:49:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

I know it has been a while since we've spoken, I was just wondering why we are so broken?

They say I am going against your plan because I am holding my boyfriend's hand in a church

Where they pray to a YOU they cannot see in ME.

But, you don't make mistakes-right?

Glistening sunsets are beautiful just like the stars that turn into bombs over the heads of children,

Praying for just one more tomorrow,

But tomorrow never comes for the bum with his outstretched hand, holding his outstretched heart, waiting for it to be filled with your grace..

The face looking back at me from the mirror is a sinner

God...

If I am created in your image, then why am I so broken?

Smoking ciggaretes and drinking moonshine to get closer to heaven,

While a man robs a 7-11 to feed his children... Hungry for a life worth living..

The man that beats his wife because he cant see the beautiful sunrise of your grace in that beaten and battered face crying tears of love for a man she still sees as her saviour

God, why are we so broken?

The token machine is out of tokens, and this ride is getting close to it's finale

the beginning of my omega,

the Alphabet spelling diseases..

robbing lives from being lived.. broken dreams wrapped in a quilt that cannot keep us warm..

Burning though our veins like heroin and hate..

God, reach into my soul.. pull out my pain.. turn my face up to the rain.. and baptize me whole again.. I want to be whole again..

I reach in my pocket pull out one last token, and keep riding..

Thats all we can really do...

See the beauty in me... and I'll say keep your chin up... to the god.. in you..

Peace Poem.. and codependancy

2009-08-20T12:56:00.000-07:00

When you are living in codependancy... It is really hard to find peace. It becomes this game of trying to save someone else while tring to keep your head above water at the same time, and sometimes it all gets blurry and we forget to heal our own hearts... here is a poem from my heart to yours....

Peaks

If peace were a mountain, I would climb to the top and hurl my body from its peak just so that I could feel the wind brushing itself against my wings as I learn to fly for the first time.
I’ve learned the hard way that the poems of life don’t always rhyme,
sometimes they are broken
like memories lost in empty pill bottles..
I still remember kissing God’s breath into your lungs, crying a river of broken glass, and walking across it to find your lifeless body waiting for me when I came home from work…
you look for peace in the shadow of little white Gods..
a prescription for a life worth living never filled, still tucked away in your pocket.
I look for peace in mountain peaks…
If I could just remember how to fly…

Poems, poems, poems... Help me write!!!

2009-08-19T10:42:00.000-07:00

In order to get really good at what we do, we must practice... we must practice.. and did I mention practice. So here is what I want from you: Topics

You all are my muses, my loves, and beautiful souls. This will be a fun challenge. What I want you to do is to give me topics to write about, and I'll draft a poem based on whatever topic you give me. I am going to do a goal of one poem a day, starting tomorrow all the way until the Arkansas Grand National Slam.

Examples:

Love, hope, death of a loved one, cup of coffee, rainbows, spiders... etc... I'll create poem based on the them you give, and if it comes out well, I'll do a youtube performance of the poem topic you gave... Lots of fun, and it helps us to become interactive in our creative process.

Much love to you all...

Mike

Amazing Picture.

2009-08-18T08:21:00.001-07:00

http://www.art4god.com/html/?go=calvary&page=5

Sunshine- A poem of codependancy

2009-08-18T07:58:00.000-07:00

Living with someone that has an addiction, creates addiction in our own lives. Codependency is damaging to both, and it is my hope that through my own story, people will learn to love themselves, and as we heal.. those around us will heal. So, to you, I bear my soul.. good and bad.

xoxo

Mike

You are my sunshine
my only sunshine..
you make me happy...
when skies are gray...

And those gray skies were wrapped in your goodbyes...
I thought we'd be together forever.
You were my light, and now it is dark, yet the darkness was always there
We tried to love one another to the point of killing one another, and hope can only do CPR on the heart so many times
before it gives us away to the life we've chosen to live. And there is nothing i wouldnt give to see you happy.
I would rip every star from the sky if it would give you enough light to see your way home,
I would pull every cloud from God's beard so that I could make a pillow soft enough for you to dream away the nightmares of our reality,
but for some fucking reason, I cant pull the needle out of your arm long enough for you to love me.
I would slit my wrists a thousand times to bleed a river of love to find you, set sail on my pain.. the rain beating my face.. like the beating of your heart
against my ear each night as we would fall asleep... yes, I am here, yes, I am here... and now, I fear I've lost you. I gave you everything and when you left you took nothing.
you left me sitting under my own dark rainbow,
wrapping myself in memories to keep me warm at night, wondering if you had it in you to keep up the fight
I tried to save you by killing myself,
giving away our love to others,
wrapping myself un named lovers, looking for that high
because you were my addiction... my poison.. my ocean of pain, and my boat was sinking
lost in the rain, beating down on me like a storm, how many guys do I have to fuck to pull the needle out of your arm,
come home, I miss you, I'd kiss away your pain and take it into my own heart,
just so that I could rip it apart, so that we can start at, I love you..I still love you
The day you went away, my soul tore itself in two, so that in those moments when you are cold,
in those moments where you could not see tomorrow, I could still hold you for one more day...

You'll never know dear, how much I love you..
Please dont take my sunshine away..

Learning to love again

2009-08-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

The toughest thing about relationships are the endings. We attach so much to that moment, sometimes even before we get there. Sometimes they last years, sometimes only mere moments. We need to learn to love, and to love in a way where we love our partners through our love for ourselves. When we only give love to them, and are willing to sacrifice everything for that one person.. when they leave, what do you have left? A whole bunch of NOTHING! Give of yourself freely, but feed yourself first, and share in the meal with your partner. I've seen so many people come to me in a state of complete upheaval due to the loss of a partner, and in some cases the relationship was extremely toxic. We often times choose to settle into a place of despair rather than seeing the world through a different set of eyes. If someone is purposely hurting you, or demeaning you, or physically causing you pain.. that is not love. The more you take, the more guilt and blame usually build up as a result. This is why it is so important to first have a great relationship with yourself. Love yourself unconditionally. Learn to forgive yourself for all that stuff you hide deep within your heart. Learn to connect to the self through meditation, writing, and just sharing with others.

I'm going to post some specific meditations for letting go in video form which will make it easy for you to follow along.

Much love to you all,

Mike

The soul....

2009-08-09T10:18:00.000-07:00

We all have one of the beautiful diamonds. Sometimes we do not take a long enough look inside to really make contact with beautiful being that is intertwined with every fabric of our being. Like a beautiful tapestry it helps to create what is right in front of us. We are all creators, so in essence we are all God. Each day we create memories, we start wars, we love, we help those in need, we condemn and offer salvation. Sometime though, we do so much of the negative, that we lose sight of the positive. The law of attraction states that we draw unto us what we give the most attention to. So, if we strive to create drama and chaos in the lives of others, then that is what we can also expect in this time of forward progress. The soul really wants us to learn to experience love, harmony, and peace. We are one, and as one we create a universal emotion that is felt by all on a very deep level. So, to reflect back to the world what it really needs, we need to bring moments of peace, joy, and love into our lives. Each and everyday we are giving opportunities to help connect not only ourselves to a higher place of being, we have the opportunity to help others. Sometimes it only takes a smile... what do you lose by giving a smile away?

Learn to love, and love unconditionally. When you can love others without condition, you learn to love yourself in the same fashion. Let the soul sing... and sing along... its beautiful.

Flower

2009-08-07T14:18:00.001-07:00

I remember planting my first rose bush in my back yard... it never bloomed until I left for bootcamp... much like my soul the little flower would grow, it would wilt, and it would die... but, it would grow again... My mother would send me pictures of the flower in bloom, and I would send her pictures of me.. blooming in my own garden... I look back and I see all the weeds that I planted in my little garden, but have always been thankful my soul gave me some really sharp thorns to keep me safe... we die a thousand times from birth to death, but many of us never really learn to blossom. We never learn to feel the sun against the petals of our cheeks, we never take the time to stretch our little limbs up to enjoy each moment, each rainstorm, each... moment. Then the moment is gone, it wilts away, we die, and we grow again. In life, I guess we never take the time to really enjoy each moment. We only look to the end, and never taste the love that is right in front of us. Remember, pluck yoursleves from the bush of your life, and place yourself as the center of the table and say--You are beautiful... enjoy this life, each moment, each breath, each rainstorm, and wrap yourself in those memories. Let the soul blossom...

xoxo
Mike

The Demon

2009-07-31T11:08:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

I thought I would start of this blog by bearing my soul to you in a way I have not. Many not so distant moons ago, I was in love. I was so in love with a man, my partner, my lover, my soulmate. He lit a fire in me, and opened my soul much like the needle opened his veins to the drugs that were in that syringe. I feel that in many ways he is still my soulmate. I hold a special place in my heart for lovers past, present and future... but this one is different.

What I want to create is a place of honest truth, a place of complete connection to your souls, so complete that the truth comes running up and slaps us right across our faces... I want you to see my soul, as I see yours when you sit across from me. When I connect to that place of inner understanding, know that I do so with love. I see your pain, I see your joy, and I see you..... So, it is only fair... that you see me.

Here is a poem that I wrote about my love's addiction. As with many dealing with addiction, he was on the roller coaster of ups and downs, highs------- and lows. I sat with him for 5 years, and held his hand on every peak and drop. I can still remember falling asleep with my head on his chest, just so that I could hear his heart telling me YES YES YES... I am still alive... I am still here... a habit I still have.

The Demon

Mike Brazell

I ran from you.

I had escaped your grasp,

Your hands no longer touch my soul.

I am free of you.

I ran from you.

I know you are waiting for me,

wishing me to return to your dark love,

I am free of you.

I ran from you.

you sit in my shadow,

Waiting,

Wanting,

Wishing,

I am free of you.

I ran from you,

But I am tired of running.

I am tired of me.

I am free of you.

I ran from you,

But my legs can carry me no more.

My soul is tired of fighting.

I am free of you.

I ran from you,

But the beckoning sound of your sweet, sweet song-

I once hated-

That brought me pain,

that destroyed me inside and out-

Touches my soul and sings to her-

I am free of you.

I ran from you.

Your song-

Sing to me sweet love.

Sing to me of pain and of last times,

Sing to me of what will never be,

Sing to me of destiny lost,

Sing to me of my life,

and lose me in your embrace

I am free of you.

I can run no more,

The pain which I once feared

Seems to be my only friend-

Sweet darkness,

Sweet embrace of despair,

Why do you call me back to you?

I don't want to listen to your song,

But I have no choice now...

I reach out my trembling hand,

touching yours,

your warmth entering my veins,

touching my soul,

I am free no more.